How are you?

Just osmething to think about.

Stepping up and diving in.

Hello again.

This year I am really embracing my role as 'teacher' and with this comes a great responsibility to myself as well as my students. A very large part of exploring my role as a facilitator for growth and healing will be to come to terms with some of my greatest fears and insecurities and to really step into them, explore them and to not shy away from that which frightens me.

This is going to take a lot of courage, personal search, work and honesty. It is not an easy path, but it is unquestionably a worthwhile one.

My most pressing and ongoing struggle is my 'place' in this world. Whether I belong in this country or my home country? This is an inquiry that I am sure many of my friends are tired of exploring with me, as it has been an inquiry that has lasted 8 years and I still feel paralyzed to make this decision. Why am I so attached to finding this answer? Why not just relax and enjoy the gifts this city has to offer while I have chosen to live here?
I realize that it is not just the place I live or the people I surround myself with, it is the peace I need to find in myself to unattached, to let go and to trust that I am here for a reason and I am here to grow.


Some questions to consider:
1. Where is the discomfort in your body/life?
2. How long have you known about it?
3. What is it saying to you?
4. What have you done about it?

My goals for the coming year are as follows: I will learn new skills, I will take at least 3 dance classes a month, I will explore new teachers and try new restaurants. I will cook something new twice a month. I will try to worry less, and breathe more. And I will do a better job at blogging about my discoveries.

I am thrilled to embrace my dharma.

May the fun begin!

P.S
I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill-health.
There is no way to escape having ill-health.

I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love
are of the nature to change.
There is no way to escape being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground on which I stand.
~the buddha

Letting go.

Dear Blog,
I am sorry that I  have neglected you for over a month, but I'm back, just in time for the Holidays.

Winter is here and for me this is a time for reflection.  Just as in nature, the seasons allow what needs to die off to die off, so that new things can grow. Imagine a plant held onto every flower that bloomed, even after it had died, after a period of time, there would be no room for new growth. There would just be an ugly plant covered in dead flowers that no longer fed the bees or butterflies. 

I encourage you to take this time to reflect on yourself and to recognise the old habits that no longer serve you. Old opinions, judgements, maybe even friendships that have become toxic.  Making room in your life for new and different experiences is frightening, to say the least.  But sometimes staying in the same place, doing the same things is more damaging than making a few mistakes on this journey.

I can only speak for myself and from my own experience.  I moved to San Francisco to be closer to my family and to make something of my life in this country.  I began working as a receptionist at a hair salon and was very unhappy, with no idea what I wanted to do. I decided in November to quit my job and to take a few months to really figure things out.
It was terrifying!  Quitting my job was easy...It was figuring out what I wanted to do with my freedom that was hard.  I really had to shed many of the labels I had put on myself (too shy, not good enough, not smart enough, etc..)  I have learned that sometimes a leap of faith is the only mode of transport available.

I am not rich, we do not have a lot of money and I no longer buy all the shoes and clothes that I want.  But I am happier than I have ever been and living a full life, without all the shoes and clothes.  I have learned that  I AM good enough, I AM smart enough and I DO have something to contribute (even if sometimes it's just a hug or a smile)

I am not saying quit your job and live as a gypsy.  I am just suggesting, or encouraging you to take a long hard look at your life, or even just this year of your life and to let go of what is no longer relevant.  It might be something your parents had told you, or your teacher or even your spouse.  YOU are the only one that matters and it is only YOUR opinion that standing in the way of reaching your bliss.

Be kind to yourself,
Let go,
Trust,
Love.


With gratitude and love,
Jacqui.

Salutation Nation.

This Saturday was Salutation Nation, an annual event hosted by Lululemon where thousands of yogis across the globe practice for peace.  Besides being for a great cause, it was SUPER fun and I strongly suggest trying it next year.

My best friend lives in Virginia and the last time I saw her she was getting married. Weddings are always such happy and uplifting occasions that leave you with a feeling of bliss and hope.  When you break it down, weddings are a ceremony in a church/beach/garden/wherever, uniting two people that love each other and accept each other for better and worse. You have this celebration with your friends and family where people come together for a single purpose, and that purpose is this union!

I got to thinking... yoga means union, so isn't yoga the same thing?

Yoga is a ceremony performed on a mat/beach/garden/wherever, uniting the body, mind and spirit.  For me, it is a process of learning to love and accept myself for better or worse.  When you are in a group class, you have come together for a single purpose, and that purpose is this union, a union with yourself. It invites a feeling of bliss and hope into each day.

It was wonderful getting together with like-minded people and I thank Lululemon for being so committed to connecting the community.  It was an honor to breathe with you while you embark on the great journey of your own personal union, and also to have you celebrating mine.

A huge thanks to my teacher and mentor, Lauren Slater for a beautiful class and her dedication to the art of looking after your body and using it as a vehicle to connect with your mind and your spirit.  I guess with my little analogy, this makes her the preacher in my ceremonies.

For more on Lululemon, click here.

For more on Lauren Slater, click here.


Namaste,
Jacqui.

A lesson that hurt.

I have been asked to submit some yoga photos to a company that is thinking of branching out into the USA.  Although I love to have my picture taken, I don't have many yoga pics!  Note to self: get some done!.  I decided that Golden Gate Park would be a great place for some last minute snapshots, so off went.

I was in my yoga pants and sports bra doing my thang, when a yellow jacket decided I would be a tasty meal.  The yellow jacket can sting more than once, and it did!  I felt a sharp sting on my back but I didn't know what it was so turned around and casually told Rob that I had been stung by something.  He is allergic to yellow jackets, but still flicked it off of me and then ran away to safety.  I thought it must have been a bee and started hunting the floor so I could squash it and get my revenge, when ZAP, it got me again.  This time in the groin, and this time I could see it.  I started freaking out and doing some sort of crazy dance, screaming "get it off, get it off". Why is it that when you have a visual, it makes things so much more painful?  I have the same reaction when I cut myself and see blood.

My pseudo photo shoot came to a screeching halt with me whining all the way home about the indignation of all of it.  You see, I never wear makeup and do my hair fancy, and the one time I do, I get stung by a wasp, twice!

Yogic Lesson:  Practice non violence on all living creatures, even when they are not practicing that on you.

Life Lesson:  When stung by a yellow jacket, flick it off then RUN, run as fast as you can.  Don't wait around looking for something to squash, chances are it will come back and bite you in the a$$.
 
Namaste,
Jacqui.

Yoga for Hope.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, and I am super excited to be invited to assist in this years Yoga for Hope in San Francisco.

A little about City of Hope:

For almost 100 years, City of Hope's pioneering research has brought the world closer to cures for many life-threatening diseases, including Cancer, HIV and Diabetes.

Compassion drives their innovation. As an independent medical and research institution, they can break through the barriers that traditionally stand between scientists and physicians, accelerating the application of laboratory findings to more effective treatments.

For many people, City of Hope is where hope begins and I love the approach they have adopted that when you treat the body, you also treat the soul. 

Yoga for Hope  is an event that brings awareness to the benefits of yoga for patients with life-threatening illnesses.

The proceeds from the event go to benefit research, treatment and education programs at City of Hope.

Please join us, as some of the best instructors in the city lead hundreds of yoga enthusiasts in aiding City of Hope's efforts to expand awareness of the importance of the mind-body-spirit connection when battling cancer, diabetes or HIV/AIDS.


You can find us at Union Square, come breathe, move and play for a great cause.

Date: Saturday, September 17th, 2011

Event Day Registration: 9:00 a.m.

Yoga: 1-hour sessions beginning at 10:00 a.m.

Pre-Registration: $35

Event Day Registration: $40

For more information on City of Hope, click here.

For more information on Yoga for Hope, please click here.

Thanks to my little warriors, Leah and Reef for their inspiration.

The beauty of age.

I am going to be 30 this year, my birthday is in a couple of months and the life that I am actually living is very different to the life that I thought I would be living.

I am so grateful for the wisdom and peace that has come with maturing, although I am not so thrilled about some of the other things that are shifting and changing.  I slather my face with anti-aging lotions and potions in the hopes of fighting the wrinkles that will inevitably appear.  We all have a terminal illness, it's called life and there is no escaping the aging process unless I curl up and die in this youthful body today.  I don't want to do that, I want to live, I want to age, I want to grow and I want to find peace in this process.  I don't want to look in the mirror 30 years from now and not recognise myself because I have been nipped and tucked and injected with fillers and plumper's and who knows what else.

My mother has always been my hero, I have always loved her so completely. I look at her and she is so beautiful, she is completely her and she is so comfortable in her skin. I cover up my thighs because they are not as toned as I would like, and I wear long clothing to cover my legs because they are not as tanned as I would like, and I buy push up bras to create an illusion of having more that what I do. I want to grow into someone like my mom that has found peace, and is living her yoga, even though she is not aware of it.

I read this today and it has me meditating on the process of growing older with dignity and grace:

"Come my child, I have something to show you."  My head reeled.  I had so little private contact with her up to this point.  She was notorious for being a stubborn, cantankerous old woman who's displeasure could be amply displayed but not readily allayed.
To my horror and surprise, the old lady began to unbutton her gown,  Slowly and painfully, the gnarled, arthritic hands began to reveal what was better left hidden.  Before I looked away in embarrassment, I caught a glimpse of her breasts, pendulous and glistening but shriveled like giant black prunes, hanging from her bony frame. 

"Now you have the beauty of youth, so you can shudder at my wrinkled breasts", she said, chuckling to herself.  Her grin was accentuated by a few remaining teeth hanging from thick pink and brown speckled gums, I was at an utter loss as to how to respond to her.  But she continued: "But just you wait and see, as the seasons pass, your waist shall grow thicker, your hips shall be round and full like the moon, and your breasts will hang low like fruit that has passed it's ripeness on the tree." 

She clasped my right hand in hers.  Then she laid it on her wrinkled cheeks and made me caress each crevice.  I could feel the roughness of her face, the soft bristles of her eyebrows, and the undulations of her forehead as she guided my hand gently over her profile.  As she did so, she spoke softly.
"That was from the tears I shed at his birth.  It was painful.  It hurt like the lightning that splits the tree.  Right there - that line was when he began to talk.  Oh how I laughed and laughed!  That furrow there - feel how deep it is.  That was when he left the farm to join the struggle.  Dear God how I worried.  And that little crease is from grinning at the sweet memory of his success.  And that one - ooh, it still hurts - that was when they threw him into the jail and beat him."
"You look at us old women and think we are afraid to show our bodies.  But that is not so.  My beauty is here now", she said, pointing to her wrinkles.  These are the marks of life.  My face, just as it is, the map of my toils and joys, is as precious to me as your little waist and rounded breasts are to you.  This is a testimony to the love I have given my family.  It is a body of love.  You see it as an old, dry, lifeless thing, but one day you will understand that each beauty has it's season.  The body of youth knows its day and must live it to the fullest.  The body of the harvest, too, has it's time.  That is mine.  It is a body that has reaped and sown and gathered unto itself.  Someday, too, will come the body of the earth, the final eternal one, to which we must all return.

"A woman's body follows the moon, it is not still and hard like a man's.  Her happiness and sadness take many forms, each day the brightness of her light and the mysterious depths of her shadows may change.  A woman is close to the earth, yet near to the heavens.  She grows like the harvest, she becomes ripe like fruit.  The body of your youth stays with your youth, and the body of the harvest, that is the body of your later years."

She had shown off her body as a magnificent monument of the human spirit over hardship.

I am so blessed to have a strong woman as my role model. I thank my mother for being so beautifully true to herself, and I hope to become a woman that my children are proud of.

Love yourself.

Namaste,
Jacqui.