A lesson that hurt.

I have been asked to submit some yoga photos to a company that is thinking of branching out into the USA.  Although I love to have my picture taken, I don't have many yoga pics!  Note to self: get some done!.  I decided that Golden Gate Park would be a great place for some last minute snapshots, so off went.

I was in my yoga pants and sports bra doing my thang, when a yellow jacket decided I would be a tasty meal.  The yellow jacket can sting more than once, and it did!  I felt a sharp sting on my back but I didn't know what it was so turned around and casually told Rob that I had been stung by something.  He is allergic to yellow jackets, but still flicked it off of me and then ran away to safety.  I thought it must have been a bee and started hunting the floor so I could squash it and get my revenge, when ZAP, it got me again.  This time in the groin, and this time I could see it.  I started freaking out and doing some sort of crazy dance, screaming "get it off, get it off". Why is it that when you have a visual, it makes things so much more painful?  I have the same reaction when I cut myself and see blood.

My pseudo photo shoot came to a screeching halt with me whining all the way home about the indignation of all of it.  You see, I never wear makeup and do my hair fancy, and the one time I do, I get stung by a wasp, twice!

Yogic Lesson:  Practice non violence on all living creatures, even when they are not practicing that on you.

Life Lesson:  When stung by a yellow jacket, flick it off then RUN, run as fast as you can.  Don't wait around looking for something to squash, chances are it will come back and bite you in the a$$.
 
Namaste,
Jacqui.

Yoga for Hope.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, and I am super excited to be invited to assist in this years Yoga for Hope in San Francisco.

A little about City of Hope:

For almost 100 years, City of Hope's pioneering research has brought the world closer to cures for many life-threatening diseases, including Cancer, HIV and Diabetes.

Compassion drives their innovation. As an independent medical and research institution, they can break through the barriers that traditionally stand between scientists and physicians, accelerating the application of laboratory findings to more effective treatments.

For many people, City of Hope is where hope begins and I love the approach they have adopted that when you treat the body, you also treat the soul. 

Yoga for Hope  is an event that brings awareness to the benefits of yoga for patients with life-threatening illnesses.

The proceeds from the event go to benefit research, treatment and education programs at City of Hope.

Please join us, as some of the best instructors in the city lead hundreds of yoga enthusiasts in aiding City of Hope's efforts to expand awareness of the importance of the mind-body-spirit connection when battling cancer, diabetes or HIV/AIDS.


You can find us at Union Square, come breathe, move and play for a great cause.

Date: Saturday, September 17th, 2011

Event Day Registration: 9:00 a.m.

Yoga: 1-hour sessions beginning at 10:00 a.m.

Pre-Registration: $35

Event Day Registration: $40

For more information on City of Hope, click here.

For more information on Yoga for Hope, please click here.

Thanks to my little warriors, Leah and Reef for their inspiration.

The beauty of age.

I am going to be 30 this year, my birthday is in a couple of months and the life that I am actually living is very different to the life that I thought I would be living.

I am so grateful for the wisdom and peace that has come with maturing, although I am not so thrilled about some of the other things that are shifting and changing.  I slather my face with anti-aging lotions and potions in the hopes of fighting the wrinkles that will inevitably appear.  We all have a terminal illness, it's called life and there is no escaping the aging process unless I curl up and die in this youthful body today.  I don't want to do that, I want to live, I want to age, I want to grow and I want to find peace in this process.  I don't want to look in the mirror 30 years from now and not recognise myself because I have been nipped and tucked and injected with fillers and plumper's and who knows what else.

My mother has always been my hero, I have always loved her so completely. I look at her and she is so beautiful, she is completely her and she is so comfortable in her skin. I cover up my thighs because they are not as toned as I would like, and I wear long clothing to cover my legs because they are not as tanned as I would like, and I buy push up bras to create an illusion of having more that what I do. I want to grow into someone like my mom that has found peace, and is living her yoga, even though she is not aware of it.

I read this today and it has me meditating on the process of growing older with dignity and grace:

"Come my child, I have something to show you."  My head reeled.  I had so little private contact with her up to this point.  She was notorious for being a stubborn, cantankerous old woman who's displeasure could be amply displayed but not readily allayed.
To my horror and surprise, the old lady began to unbutton her gown,  Slowly and painfully, the gnarled, arthritic hands began to reveal what was better left hidden.  Before I looked away in embarrassment, I caught a glimpse of her breasts, pendulous and glistening but shriveled like giant black prunes, hanging from her bony frame. 

"Now you have the beauty of youth, so you can shudder at my wrinkled breasts", she said, chuckling to herself.  Her grin was accentuated by a few remaining teeth hanging from thick pink and brown speckled gums, I was at an utter loss as to how to respond to her.  But she continued: "But just you wait and see, as the seasons pass, your waist shall grow thicker, your hips shall be round and full like the moon, and your breasts will hang low like fruit that has passed it's ripeness on the tree." 

She clasped my right hand in hers.  Then she laid it on her wrinkled cheeks and made me caress each crevice.  I could feel the roughness of her face, the soft bristles of her eyebrows, and the undulations of her forehead as she guided my hand gently over her profile.  As she did so, she spoke softly.
"That was from the tears I shed at his birth.  It was painful.  It hurt like the lightning that splits the tree.  Right there - that line was when he began to talk.  Oh how I laughed and laughed!  That furrow there - feel how deep it is.  That was when he left the farm to join the struggle.  Dear God how I worried.  And that little crease is from grinning at the sweet memory of his success.  And that one - ooh, it still hurts - that was when they threw him into the jail and beat him."
"You look at us old women and think we are afraid to show our bodies.  But that is not so.  My beauty is here now", she said, pointing to her wrinkles.  These are the marks of life.  My face, just as it is, the map of my toils and joys, is as precious to me as your little waist and rounded breasts are to you.  This is a testimony to the love I have given my family.  It is a body of love.  You see it as an old, dry, lifeless thing, but one day you will understand that each beauty has it's season.  The body of youth knows its day and must live it to the fullest.  The body of the harvest, too, has it's time.  That is mine.  It is a body that has reaped and sown and gathered unto itself.  Someday, too, will come the body of the earth, the final eternal one, to which we must all return.

"A woman's body follows the moon, it is not still and hard like a man's.  Her happiness and sadness take many forms, each day the brightness of her light and the mysterious depths of her shadows may change.  A woman is close to the earth, yet near to the heavens.  She grows like the harvest, she becomes ripe like fruit.  The body of your youth stays with your youth, and the body of the harvest, that is the body of your later years."

She had shown off her body as a magnificent monument of the human spirit over hardship.

I am so blessed to have a strong woman as my role model. I thank my mother for being so beautifully true to herself, and I hope to become a woman that my children are proud of.

Love yourself.

Namaste,
Jacqui.

Peacock.

The peacock is the national bird of India, and is associated with Saraswati, a deity representing benevolence, patience, kindness, compassion and knowledge.

There is a fun asana called Mayurasana, which translates to Peacock Pose, and I love the origin of the name.  The peacock is one of the only animals that can successfully digest a scorpion.  Therefore, the idea behind practicing this asana is to get a stomach of steel, where you too are immune to stomach ailments. 

This pose is wonderful for the digestive system and aids in detoxifying the entire system. Due to the pressure  of the elbows against the abdominal area, blood circulates to the abdominal organs, improving digestion and preventing the accumulation of toxins.  It also develops and strengthens the forearms and wrists.

There are a number of ways to get into this asana. The best way for me, when I was first playing with this pose was to start with my legs curled close to my body in either lotus or baddhakonasana (butterfly).

Come to stand on your knees, with your arms in front of you, fingers facing towards your knees. Bend your elbows, leaning your front torso onto the backs of your upper arms and burrowing your elbows deep into your belly at or below the navel.

Once you have your arms in position, you can start to work on lifting your legs by bringing your body weight more forward and looking a few feet in front of your face.

If you would like to go further, you can start to work with straightening your legs by coming to plank and lifting one leg then the other leg, working with balance.

Once you are ready to lift both your legs, keep in mind that you are trying to keep them together and stiff.  On your exhale, lean your weight forward to your hands and lift your legs, stretching your trunk and head forward.  If your legs and buttocks are firm and active, this slight shift of weight will lever your feet off the floor without too much effort.

Hold for 10 second, gradually working your way to 30-60 seconds.  To come out of this pose, lower your head and feet to the floor, bend your knees and lift your torso off your arms.

As you practice this more, try to keep your hands, forearms and elbows together. 

Remember that this is your yoga practice, not yoga perfect.  Have fun and fall often!  Falling is part of learning, it means you have pushed yourself to new places. Besides, you don't have that far to fall, you are almost on the ground anyway.

You will get all the detoxifying benefits just by resting your elbows into your belly,  there is no pressure to ever lift your legs off the ground.  If arm balancing does not feel right for you, just work with the first step.

Namaste,
Jacqui.

Be kinder than necessary.

When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.  (Abraham Joshua Heschel.)

I have always admired people with high paying jobs, executives, lawyers and the sort.  I would get so self-conscious around bright people that I could find no words to say to them.  I then started to feel more self-conscious around them, thinking that they were thinking I was simple.  The spiral went deeper and deeper until I fell so far into the vortex of shame that I would want to leave social functions, and often did.  As soon as I got into the car, I would think of great things to say, things that would prove I wasn't a complete airhead, but of course, it was too late...I was socially awkward!


I had made these clever folks into super-humans, they were no longer people at all. Even if they had said something that I didn't believe in, I probably would have thought it were deep and profound. 

I never thought I was stupid, I actually think I am quite intelligent when I apply myself and speak my truth.  But this is a skill that is still being cultivated, I am still working on becoming me, not trying to be anyone but ME.  I am working on not saying something silly and hurtful just to get a giggle out of the crowd.  I have come to realise that I am not a traveling comedy show, because my comedy was more often mean-spirited than fun.  I am striving to see the beauty in each person and each situation.  And I hope that through the beauty and strength I see in them, they can start to see it in themselves.  This isn't easy!

In a yoga class, you have people from all walks of life and it is so rewarding when they come up to you and thank you for your help, your touch, your guidance.  It feels so good to make other people feel good, and in doing so I feel better than ever and feel more able to freely share myself with them.

I have learned that in teaching and assisting a yoga class, it is never about me.  It is all about the other person and to give them a piece of you, to share yourself and your truth, is the greatest gift to give.You all have a gift, you may not be a doctor saving lives, but you have the power to make a meaningful contribution, speak your truth!

I still find myself feeling a little anxiety in some social situations, but the more I connect with what is really me, the easier it gets.  Just figuring out what samskaras (storeis) are mine to keep and mine to let go, so much of what I base myself on, or measure myself on is from someone elses scale, and how could I ever expect to measure up?


Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.



5th Chakra, the throat chakra
Sanskrit: Vishuddha

Speak your truth. Lying violates the body and spirit.
To realize when you are lying to yourself its necessary to KNOW your truth.


xoxoxox.
Namaste,
Jacqui.

Right Side Up & Up Side Down.

Chin Stand is a super fun inversion, that isn't explored too often in group classes.

Ganda Bherundasana (Formidable Face Pose).

This asana registers as 56* on BKS Iyengar’s 60* scale of difficulty in Light on Yoga.

In the full expression of this pose, only your chin, neck and upper ribs are touching the mat.  It is incredibly intense on your throat, neck, back and arms.  I recommend only working on this asana with an experienced teacher.

To prepare yourself for this pose, you can try to become comfortable breathing with your chin and neck pressed against the floor.  Once you can breathe comfortably, you can try to lift one leg at a time and explore the concept of balancing with your weight on your arms (bicep strength is key). 

Start working on yoga push ups by coming to your knees, lifting your feet towards your seat and bending your arms so that your chin can touch the floor in front of your hands.

I like to come to the full expression from a one legged downward facing dog, bringing my weight over my arms as in plank and then bending my elbows as in push up and resting my chin lightly on the floor.  Once I have established the correct position for my arms, I kick my other leg up to mee the one that is already extended.

Once you have your balance in chin stand, you can start to work your feet towards your head.  This is a very intense back bend and puts even more pressure on your neck and chin.  Please be sure to have an experienced teacher assisting you.

Keep in mind, that even the preparation for an advanced asana is a challenge.  The physical and mental preparations to overcome your fear is rewarding.  It does not matter wether you ever take on the full pose, working with your body and building strength makes you an advanced yogi in itself.  Loose any attachment to the end result and work with what your body is able to accomplish today, who knows, it may surprise you tomorrow.

Namaste.
Jacqui.

If you want to sing out, sing out.

My parents told me that when I was little, I would wake up early in the morning, recite the Lords prayer and then sing all the songs I knew over and over until they got out of bed. 

I remember being maybe 5 or 6, and every night my mom would take a bath and I would sit on the toilet singing to her.  Bless her patient heart, she never once told be to bugger off and leave her in peace.  I would sing all the songs in my repertoire, and when I was done, I would start all over again.  I loved to sing! 

When I got a little older, I auditioned for the school play.  We were doing "Joshua" from the bible and I so badly wanted my chance at a solo.  I still remember the song.
"Josh-u-Joshua, be very bold, be strong in the Lord cause he's a might God.  Every place you put your foot down in the promised land, it's yours, it's yours, it's yours."

I ended up being cast as an old peasant lady.  Never mind a solo, I was only on stage for one song, and put so far to the right I might as well have been in the wing.  We were recording a CD that year for the parents and I remember being at the recording studio, I was belting out my lines with all the soul I could muster.  We kept doing take after take after take, and eventually our music teacher, Mrs Rogers came to me and asked me to
"sit this round out".  That happened to be the final take!  I was so disappointed, my name was on the credit list, but I never even got a chance to sing on the tape.

As I got older I would hear it more and more "Your voice is even worse than mine." or "Wow, you sing really badly" or "Maybe you should stick with dancing".  My personal favorite, "Singing just isn't for everyone."  Ummm....Yes it is! If you have a voice, even a 'bad' voice, SING!!!!!

I developed such shame around my singing. From being something that brought me such joy, I became so embarrassed by my voice.  I think that when I started shutting down my singing voice, my other voice followed.  I was still a chatterbox, but there was a part of my confidence, my magic that wasn't the same. 

My mom tells stories of me talking to strangers when I was really little.  If I saw an old lady, I would say "Hello Granny".  I would dance for anyone willing to watch, and sing to anyone willing to listen.

Fast-forward 20something years to today. In January of this year, I started to become friendly with my singing voice again in Pedro's class.  For so many years I was ashamed of my voice and finally I had a safe place to sing.  I was really uncomfortable at first, singing Hare Krishna songs with a bunch of strangers, but I have come to LOVE kirtan. There is something so freeing about singing in a strange language, with a group of people that would never tell you to sing quietly or to "sit this round out". 

Thank you to all my teachers that chant, I now sing all the time at home and might eventually have the courage to lead a song in one of my own classes.

There are no bad voices in this world, only bad listeners. 

Have a beautiful weekend.

xoxoxox.
Jacqui.

Most importantly, remember to breathe.

"Studies have shown that people who breathe, actually live longer."

One of my favorite teachers, Tim Floreen, sometimes says this in class and it never gets old.  He usually busts it out when you are in a deep backbend and possibly going blue in the face.  Tim has a gift for sequencing, he will weave together an intricate, challenging sequence and when it's time for the other side, you say "Wow, all of that was just one side?"  His memory is amazing, he is such a gift.

Although I could go on for days about how amazing Tim is, this article is about breathing, soo let's get back on track:

 “Oxygen plays a pivotal role in the proper functioning of the immune system.  We can look at oxygen deficiency as the single greatest cause of all diseases.”

This week, two of my freinds have been diagnosed with cancer. On August 31, I celebrate my first anniversary as a non-smoker, and the more I read and learn about the breathe through yoga, the more grateful I am that I managed to quit. 

I remember going to the doctor a year ago with yet another chest infection.  Each time I had a cold, I would end up with Bronchitis and taking another round of antibiotics.  The day I went to see him, he had four medical students with him and after he listened to my chest, he told the student to listen too. 
None of them could hear my breathe when they listened to my back body.  My doctor told me that I either had a very bad chest infection or early stage emphysema.  I don't mean to be a downer, but I honestly didn't even hear the word chest infection, the only word that sunk in was emphysema and it freaked me out! 

We chatted about how to quit smoking and decided that a prescription of Welbutrin might be the most effective way for me to quit.  The success rate of quitting smoking only is 15% - 25%, that number is so depressing, and so daunting when you are in the position of trying to quit.  I thought "Holy cow, only like 20% of people actually succeed at this, I can't afford to be in the 80% failure rate"

Your body can go without food for weeks, it can go without water for days, but you cannot survive without oxygen for even a few minutes.  As you age, cells in your lungs start to die off faster than you replace them, causing your lungs to shrink.  This decreases your ability to absorb oxygen and increases your chance of getting sick and dying.

Yoga has such a strong emphasis on breathe and yoga is accessible to everybody, and by that I mean every body type (fat, thin, sick or healthy).  If you can breathe, you can do yoga.  Not all yoga is a physical, sweaty practice, there are gentle classes and there are classes that only focus on breathing.  I encourage each and every one of you to try a class this month, in celebration of your life and your health.  

I went back to the the doctor a few months ago and he said that my lungs sound strong and healthy.  What a great relief.  Have you heard the saying "scared straight"? I think my doctor "scared me straight", straight into living healthy and making better choices.

If you are up for the challenge of trying a yoga class once this month, I would love to hear your stories.  Please share your experience with me either here or on facebook.

Much love, and happy breathing.

Jacqui.


To learn more about Tim Floreen, click here.

Tim's photogaraph was taken by a beautiful yogi named, Jill Schneider

Gratitude.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others"

It has been said that gratitude is one of the strongest links to mental health.  Studies have shown that grateful people are likely to have higher levels of happiness, and lower levels of stress and depression.

Can you think of three things you are grateful for?



There is a fantastic restaurant in San Francisco called Cafe Gratitude.  There are actually a collection of them throughout the Bay area and I love their mission statement:

"Café Gratitude is our expression of a world of plenty. Our food and people are a celebration of our aliveness. Our food is prepared with love. We invite you to step inside and enjoy being someone that chooses: loving your life, adoring yourself, accepting the world, being generous and grateful every day."

I encourage you to love yourself, love your life and think of  3 things you are grateful for each and ever day.

Namaste,
Jacqui.

More about Cafe Gratitude.

My tiny guru.

Today I spent time with my newest teacher, she is 19 weeks young and I am very pleased to be under her teachings for 8 hours every week.   My new teacher is Guru June.

I remember when my sister was a baby and she would cry, I would get so upset about her being uncomfortable that I would end up in tears too.  Granted, I was 9 years old at the time...but it can be pretty intense looking after a screaming baby. 

June and I went out exploring Potrero Hill today and I was totally impressed with my super nanny self when she fell asleep. Naturally, June humbled me!  She started hollering and I could feel myself falling from the tallest tree in the forest of self-praise I had just built.  I thought "Ummm...this was not supposed to happen!"  I started to sweat a little and thought of sending out a text SOS. I told myself to put on my big girl panties and tough it out a bit.  I figured if Junes anxiety and discomfort was rubbing off on me, maybe if I became peaceful, my zen would rub off on her?  I stopped bouncing around the house like a lunatic and singing silly songs, I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch to begin reading a book.  She continued to scream for a few more minutes and then fell asleep. 

Lesson from Guru June:  When other people start freaking out, just stay cool and they'll exhaust themselves eventually.

Thanks June!

From one crazy heart to another.

I am currently obsessed with this song.  Every time I hear it, I want to do ballet.

And this ain't no place for the weary kind
This ain't no place to lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try

I am from South Africa.  I moved to the USA as a live-in nanny seven years ago, it was not easy!  It's hard to be away from your family, your friends, a culture that is the only thing you know.  It's not easy living with strangers, in their home, by their rules and then falling madly in love with their children. 

I was so lucky to be accepted into the home of my host family with love, kindness and infinite patience.  I had never pumped gas, I had never used a washer and dryer, I had never driven an automatic and I had certainly never driven on the right hand side of the road or the right hand side of a car.  It was uncomfortable to admit to any of this, by the age of 16 most Americans have done all of these.  Here I was at 23 without a clue and wanting these parents to trust me with their children? I was horribly overwhelmed and questioning both, my sanity and life-choices.

After a few days I thought that I had made the biggest mistake of my life coming here.  I wanted to go home, I wanted to forget about this silly idea of traveling.  I wanted to be comfortable again, for things to be easy.  My host father talked (possibly bribed) one of his co-workers to befriend me and I am so grateful he did.  If I had quit, and gone home all those years ago, I would have missed out on the greatest adventure I have the privilege to call my life. Choosing to stay, to live with the 'difficult' option and shy away from the 'easy' one was one of my greatests and most rewarding decisions.

Yoga has taught me to sit with my discomfort, to live in the here and now and be realistic about what I am feeling, even the 'not-so-nice' feelings. It doesn't matter how many years I live here, how much I love to be in America or how many friends I make, I have days where it is difficult to be away from South Africa. Sitting in that uncomfortable space is always a beautiful journey deeper into my appreciation for all that I have experienced here, the life I have lived in South Africa and the life that is ahead of me, wherever I choose for that to be.

You will never have a chance to live this moment again. 
Breathe fully, love completely, and when times are difficult, just sit.

Namaste,
Jacqui

Yoga took it from me!

I came to yoga because I wanted a 'yoga body', I wanted long, lean muscles that could bend in every crazy way.  What I got is so much more, you have heard it a million times before so I won't tell you how yoga has made me stronger, better, blah blah blah.
I am here to tell you what yoga has taken from me.

1. My self indulgent excuses.
I used to say that I was not happy because I was not passionate about my work. I blamed everyone else for the things that I did not love about myself and my life.  And I believed that! I was blissfully unaware of how frightened I was of failure.  This is actually a line I have used often, "I'm no good at math because I got my mothers brain for numbers", another one in the same category, "I can't get into college because I suck at math".  Isn't that funny?  The reason I am no good at math is the same reason I did not go to college - I never tried!  Now when I find myself blaming someone else, I am immediately aware of what a big scardy-pants I am being and then have to fess-up.  It's infuriating!  Sometimes I just don't want to be responsible, especially for the bad stuff.

2. My savvy fashion choices.
The other night we were going out for dinner and a movie and I tried on at least 10 outfits before settling on jeans and a sweater.  The old Jacqui would have put on something cute and a little eccentric. San Francisco inspires you to be quirky, it's a city where 'anything goes'.  I live in my lululemon uniform and have such a strong focus on comfort that anything outside of the jeans, leggings, sweater family now feels constricting.  I have a closet full of beautiful dresses, silk and expensive designer shirts and the only things I wear are my cardigans and Marmot vest.  Things are more simple this way, warmer too.

3. Cute shoes.
Although I can't blame yoga for the fact that I can't wear high heels, I had to give those up a few years ago.  I do blame yoga for spreading my toes so wide that they no longer fit inside most shoes. The other day, my brother said that my toes no longer want to be friends, and that's exactly what it looks like.

4.Being unaware.
I am so aware of my forehead getting tight, I can feel the tension wrap around my skull and rest at my ears.  I get so involved in this investigation and my imagination starts making up stories of suffocating my hair follicles and going bald that it has become distracting in conversations.
Another one is the awareness of my pelvic floor.  One of my favorite teachers, Jane, informed me that if I did not start tilting my pelvis forward when seated, I would exhaust my pelvic floor muscles.  Incontinence is scary folks, imagining yourself with incontinence is downright frightening.

Thank you yoga for all you have given me and all you have taken away....I don't miss any of the above.

Happy Monday,

Jacqui.

View the Lululemon catalogue.