Yoga took it from me!

I came to yoga because I wanted a 'yoga body', I wanted long, lean muscles that could bend in every crazy way.  What I got is so much more, you have heard it a million times before so I won't tell you how yoga has made me stronger, better, blah blah blah.
I am here to tell you what yoga has taken from me.

1. My self indulgent excuses.
I used to say that I was not happy because I was not passionate about my work. I blamed everyone else for the things that I did not love about myself and my life.  And I believed that! I was blissfully unaware of how frightened I was of failure.  This is actually a line I have used often, "I'm no good at math because I got my mothers brain for numbers", another one in the same category, "I can't get into college because I suck at math".  Isn't that funny?  The reason I am no good at math is the same reason I did not go to college - I never tried!  Now when I find myself blaming someone else, I am immediately aware of what a big scardy-pants I am being and then have to fess-up.  It's infuriating!  Sometimes I just don't want to be responsible, especially for the bad stuff.

2. My savvy fashion choices.
The other night we were going out for dinner and a movie and I tried on at least 10 outfits before settling on jeans and a sweater.  The old Jacqui would have put on something cute and a little eccentric. San Francisco inspires you to be quirky, it's a city where 'anything goes'.  I live in my lululemon uniform and have such a strong focus on comfort that anything outside of the jeans, leggings, sweater family now feels constricting.  I have a closet full of beautiful dresses, silk and expensive designer shirts and the only things I wear are my cardigans and Marmot vest.  Things are more simple this way, warmer too.

3. Cute shoes.
Although I can't blame yoga for the fact that I can't wear high heels, I had to give those up a few years ago.  I do blame yoga for spreading my toes so wide that they no longer fit inside most shoes. The other day, my brother said that my toes no longer want to be friends, and that's exactly what it looks like.

4.Being unaware.
I am so aware of my forehead getting tight, I can feel the tension wrap around my skull and rest at my ears.  I get so involved in this investigation and my imagination starts making up stories of suffocating my hair follicles and going bald that it has become distracting in conversations.
Another one is the awareness of my pelvic floor.  One of my favorite teachers, Jane, informed me that if I did not start tilting my pelvis forward when seated, I would exhaust my pelvic floor muscles.  Incontinence is scary folks, imagining yourself with incontinence is downright frightening.

Thank you yoga for all you have given me and all you have taken away....I don't miss any of the above.

Happy Monday,

Jacqui.

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