From one crazy heart to another.

I am currently obsessed with this song.  Every time I hear it, I want to do ballet.

And this ain't no place for the weary kind
This ain't no place to lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try

I am from South Africa.  I moved to the USA as a live-in nanny seven years ago, it was not easy!  It's hard to be away from your family, your friends, a culture that is the only thing you know.  It's not easy living with strangers, in their home, by their rules and then falling madly in love with their children. 

I was so lucky to be accepted into the home of my host family with love, kindness and infinite patience.  I had never pumped gas, I had never used a washer and dryer, I had never driven an automatic and I had certainly never driven on the right hand side of the road or the right hand side of a car.  It was uncomfortable to admit to any of this, by the age of 16 most Americans have done all of these.  Here I was at 23 without a clue and wanting these parents to trust me with their children? I was horribly overwhelmed and questioning both, my sanity and life-choices.

After a few days I thought that I had made the biggest mistake of my life coming here.  I wanted to go home, I wanted to forget about this silly idea of traveling.  I wanted to be comfortable again, for things to be easy.  My host father talked (possibly bribed) one of his co-workers to befriend me and I am so grateful he did.  If I had quit, and gone home all those years ago, I would have missed out on the greatest adventure I have the privilege to call my life. Choosing to stay, to live with the 'difficult' option and shy away from the 'easy' one was one of my greatests and most rewarding decisions.

Yoga has taught me to sit with my discomfort, to live in the here and now and be realistic about what I am feeling, even the 'not-so-nice' feelings. It doesn't matter how many years I live here, how much I love to be in America or how many friends I make, I have days where it is difficult to be away from South Africa. Sitting in that uncomfortable space is always a beautiful journey deeper into my appreciation for all that I have experienced here, the life I have lived in South Africa and the life that is ahead of me, wherever I choose for that to be.

You will never have a chance to live this moment again. 
Breathe fully, love completely, and when times are difficult, just sit.

Namaste,
Jacqui